I was going through a lot of old email this morning and saw something I wrote not too long ago……….it feels so strange sometime to read later what you write, almost like reading something from another person.

On “why do I create”…………….

Hum………….why do I create? I don’t know, it’s just in-built into my self. If I didn’t paint, I would do something else creative. I do know that I can’t really spread the creativity around too much or I become scattered and don’t have any focus. Still, I consciously, for the most part try to keep an open mind when I’m doing whatever I’m doing. I’m always looking for a better or more interesting way to go about whatever. I’d say that it starts out doing it for yourself………for some people it may stay that way. Now, however, I also like to have feedback from others who know this creative urge…and of course, I like the money that comes when people actually pay money for what I make. It’s a tightrope you walk when you start to make something others are inclined to buy………keeping on doing what you want to do and trying not to think of whether or not someone else will like it. I’m inclined to think that I gravitated to abstract work in the beginning because I felt I could do what I wanted without as much judgment from others about what they thought I was saying. Now I know that it doesn’t really matter if it’s abstract or representational…….people just have gut feelings about what you are saying………even though sometimes it’s their own voice they are hearing. Someone asked about how you feel showing your work……………I don’t know if I feel like you HAVE to feel totally unnerved by showing your work at a show to be an artist as someone suggested. I am always feeling the butterflies until I get to talking to like minded people and relax a little. Sometimes that happens and sometimes you feel uncomfortable the whole evening. I definitely feel uncomfortable talking about my work in a formal manner………..conversations one on one are fun and even invigorating in the right circumstances.

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